Oct 7, 2020
By Dray Breezy
I like to eat. Unfortunately, if I want to eat affordably, I have to cook. While making not vegan burgers, I was chopping onions and my eyes started to water profusely. I was surprised because after my 13 years working in restaurants, my body had learned to suppress that reaction. When I thought about it I realized I had no idea why onions have that effect. So what the hell is going on? Why do onions make you cry?
The explanation is rather simple. When you cut an onion, you cut open the cells of the onion, mixing their contents. Previously separated enzymes meet the sulfur-rich amino acids and form unstable sulfenic acids, which then rearrange into a chemical known as syn-propanethial-S-oxide. This chemical is volatile and is released to the air after cutting onions, working its way to your eyes. Sulfuric acid is formed at that point and the eye’s nerves are activated and your brain sends a message to protect your eyes, causing tears to be shed in an attempt to wash away the irritant.
I didn’t break down into a puddle of tears and the burgers ended up tasting like trash, but I began to imagine onions as a trigger to a much needed catharsis in America. Sometimes I feel like I’m grieving the country I once knew. I know it’s not just me, honestly, if you’re not crying and distressed you’re not paying attention. Maybe onions are the solution, the catalyst for true transformation in this country. It a pipe dream but this piece is my catharsis where I just want to vent about the stresses in my life and imagine that onions may fix it all. It’s about as reasonable as building a wall to Make America Great Again. I want whomever is reading this to understand my stress and feel the urgency of my pain.
What Stresses me out?
Poverty. The largest indicator for if someone will have wealth is if they already come from wealth. The American Dream seems to have only really applied to white people. Poverty is directly responsible for so many broken families of all shades. Poverty makes people desperate, imagine the things you would do to feed your family. The data consistently shows that reducing poverty reduces crime. Increase poverty, increase crime. Poverty means less access to healthy foods, which leads to lack of nutrition which literally stunts the body’s development. Poorer schools have poorer education. Needless to say uneducated people make uneducated decisions. Having a government that felt some need to address wealth inequality would relieve this stress but instead we have a party (Democrats) that wants the rich to have a direct funnel to the majority of the resources and we have a political party (Republicans) that want the rich to have access to ALL of America’s vast resources. Don’t believe me, just look at your legislators voting record. Big business has bought out so many of them.
There are huge swaths of tent cities across America, even in my hometown of Durham, NC that are a huge drain on the health care and tax payer system. A country as wealthy as America should be ashamed, I personally am ashamed and embarrassed for how much we punish and criminalize the poor, only making their situation worse. Vagrancy laws, loitering laws, Towing, court costs, and bail are just a few of the ways in which we punish the poor for merely not being born into wealth.
Health and Wellness
Finding time for mental and physical wellness is so important. We live in a country where that is neglected, leading to obesity. Obesity is directly responsible for so much death and complex health problems. The issue is, healthy food is expensive and not encouraged in many communities. When’s the last time you’ve seen a vegetable commercial? They only put juice bars in richer, white communities. Whole Foods doesn’t have a dollar menu. The price of two avocados is enough for most people to have a full dinner from a fast food restaurant.
When we don’t encourage access to healthy foods and lifestyles through education, we produce an overweight populace. Obesity strains the health care system in totally preventable ways. Obesity also counts as a pre-existing condition if you didn’t know, making health care plans out of reach for tons of Americans. Pun intended. Obesity leads to heart disease, high blood pressure, hypertension, diabetes, and so many countless other compounding health issues. I come from an overweight family and obesity is such a barrier to freedom. It’s one of the most glaring examples of how the American health care system focuses entirely on reducing symptoms rather than preventative treatment. Millions of American suffer from the mere fact that our legislators are too embedded with the Food Industry and Fast food lobbies to even consider the health of their populace.
Climate Change
This is the existential threat that causes me the most anxiety. The idea that we are literally killing the planet and we have an entire political party and ideology rooted in the firm belief that climate change is a hoax or some liberal conspiracy concocted by George Soros is beyond disturbing. How the fuck do you think we can be driving billions of cars over the planet for ( a hundred years), all of those vehicles polluting, not to mention factories and coal plants etc, all these facilities putting toxic shit in the air and it wouldn’t affect the planet?? The fundamental principle of the denial of climate change is that pollution isn’t having an effect of the planet. If you think pollution doesn’t kill, stand in a closed garage with your car running and see how long you last. In this metaphor, the garage is a symbol for the atmosphere, and your body represent life on Earth ( some of ya’ll are dense). I’ll spoil this experiment for you, you will die from carbon monoxide poisoning…quickly. The exact same thing is happening to the planet. As a North Carolinian, all I have to do is go outside during the summer to feel climate change. It was not consistently in the 100’s when I was growing up. I’m only 30. The summers are hotter and the winters are colder. The intensity of hurricanes is increasing and most naturally occurring weather events are getting worse. My generation and those under me can feel this, we don’t need the data, we can fucking see with our own eyes how the planet is burning. I mean California is literally burning. To deny climate change is to deny reality and we have an entire political apparatus dedicated to doing just that. It is diabolical and utterly frightening.
Skin Care
I suffer from acne, stress makes me break out. So I have this weird feedback cycle where the more I get stressed, the more I break out and that stressed me out even more. It’s a lose-lose.
Racism
America’s original sin. The confederate values never died. The current Republican Party is the Confederacy revived. They believe in a strong hierarchy system with certain people at the top (White, wealthy, Men) and certain people at the bottom (Black people, Queer people, Women). They believe in a different set of rules and laws for white people. We see this in how Kyle Rittenhouse and Dylan Roof are treated after they murder innocent people. We see this in how Tamir Rice and Eric Garner are murdered by those same cops for just existing. We see this in how black men receive longer sentences than their white counterparts for the same crimes. We see this is how black and latino people are disproportionately stopped and searched at traffic stops. We see this in how Republicans treated raged against Obama for the slightest infractions versus how they treat Donald Trump for treason. We see this every time District Attorneys like Mike O’Connell refuse to be impartial when it comes to justice for black families. We see this is Donald Trump and Steve King’s hatred for diversity, racial sensitivity training and affirmative action. I see this every time I watch Fox News or listen to talk radio in which they constantly fear monger about thugs and BLM in an effort to get their viewers to hate us. Racism is how I am still being followed in stores. Racism is a close friend of mine blaming me for him not being engaged in racial activism because I didn’t invite him to protests. Racism is white people constantly asking black people to fix racism, which is a white person’s problem. Racism is the horrible comments I get from white, gay men who think I’m some sort of fetish, they literally view my skin as a kink. Racism is being rejected by black and latino gay men because they’ve been brainwashed to only view whiteness as attractive. Racism is the countless times I know I’ve been denied interviews and opportunities because my name sounds too black. Racism is the numerous times I’ve had my life threatened by out and proud white supremacists. Racism is the absolute denial for many white liberals to not see their blind spots when it comes to their “tolerance” because it makes them uncomfortable. Racism is having my Juneteenth absolutely ruined because a fake ally of the black right’s movement decided his feeling were more important than my liberation.
HIV
1 in 3 men in my demographic contracts HIV in their lifetimes. It’s frightening. Getting tested regularly and often has been challenging during the age of Covid.
Human Trafficking.
Slavery still exists in the world. It’s unfathomable but true. Slavery happens in America, to Americans, and it’s happening to the most vulnerable members of our society, the poor and our youth. I admit, this is a situation I feel lost on how to do anything. Other than somehow getting kidnapped and trafficked and murdering my traffickers, I just don’t know what I can do to address this issue. I feel awful about it.
I’m not at the bottom of the Totem Pole…WTF.
While being black and non-binary presents many challenges, I don’t even have it the worst! The discrimination the disabled, homeless, felons, black women, and transgendered women of color face in this country is horrendous. The treatment of Native Americans in this country is horrendous. I feel shame for not doing more to help these groups and rise the tide for all ships.
Oppressed Communities in the rest of the World
The guilt I feel living here and enjoying first world privileges relative to other groups brings me shame. Right now I’m writing this in the comfort of Fullsteam Brewery, with beautiful weather, AC and relative peace. All over the world people are terrorized and killed for having a different sexuality or gender. Russia, Poland, Jamaica, South America, South Africa, Middle East, India, and so many countries still don’t have laws in place punish these types of crimes. Across the world women are still oppressed in ways that are unimaginable. In places where religious conservatism reigns, women are slaves in all but the law. The fact that entire countries still view women as the property of men is disgusting and outrages me.
Child Labor
The idea that children should be protected is quite modern and not a worldwide notion. Across the world, young children are put to work in sweat shops to make our shoes, clothes, phones, and so many of our unnecessary luxuries. Not only am I aware of child exploitation, I am aware of how I profit from child exploitation. It hurts my heart to know that I am part of them problem and doing so little to solve it. American foreign policy, globalism, and imperialism have created such distinguished injustice in regard to wealth equality. It’s bad in America, but it’s so much worse in other places and I sometimes feel powerless to do anything. The Uyghurs situation in China, the destabilization of Lebanon, the Israel/Palestine issue, the countless atrocities happening in Africa (which Western media doesn’t even acknowledge), gang rape in India, the brutality against the press in Hong Kong, the rising fascism and corruption in many Southern American countries, specifically Brazil, the situation at the border with people fleeing violence, life sucks for so many people in ways that I could not imagine. But my dumb ass tries to and I successfully carry their pain as my own. I could go on and on about the mental weight I carry knowing I could be doing more to help these people.
I Feel Paralyzed, but not Defeated
There is an incredible amount of injustice happening in the world. All of these topics cause a great amount of distress in my life. Sometimes that distress can feel unmanageable and paralyzing. I often spiral, my life can be far from stable. Before you criticize my ability to care, calling me a social justice warrior, I will note, it’s just who I am and I am so proud that I’ve grown to care deeply about social issues. I can’t check out from the issues that affect my community and the communities around me and I don’t want to. I can’t de-educated myself from the idea that there are things that I can personally do to change the world. I am a black person, but I am not disenfranchised. I am empowered to make a difference and if you do not feel the same motivation, that is your problem. I’m gonna do me, I’m gonna be brave and try and face the massive challenges that plague this nation and this world. I’m gonna cry, laugh, and maybe lose my temper. I might need time to educate myself, I might need more anecdotal evidence. I have to admit where I’m wrong and pledge myself to grow. Critically thinking about the dark forces in the world and how to defeat them is exhausting but somebody’s gotta do it. The alternative doesn’t compute.
What a privilege to only have to cry when cutting onions.