By Dray Breezy

Wonder Woman 84 was a bucket of Kentucky Fried Trash.

Between the script, choreography and love story this movie was a perpetual race to the bottom. However the most glaring issue with this entire film were the glaring plot holes. It was as if the writers of this film were all given a specific scene to produce and not once did they all try and work together for a cohesive story. A complete waste of 200 million dollars.

The 15 major plot holes of WW84 are as such:

1)Our Genie Lamp

The whole premise of this movie is there is an morally questionable villain Max Lord (Pedro Pascual) who steals a magic dreamstone that can grant wishes if you rub it right 😉 Originally the stone the stone can only grant one wish, but as the movie progresses the rules of the stone seem to change.

Midway through we find out that apparently the stone grants wishes in return for a trade off of some sort, but apparently this rule only applies to Diana and Max Lord. Diana’s wish to bring back Steve Trevor meant she would slowly start to lose her powers. Undermining this rule, it appears that Cheetah (Kirsten Wiig) and Max Lord’s son didn’t trade anything for their wishes. Or if they did, it wasn’t explained in the film, creating a plot hole that I could drive a bus through.

Also Max Lord seems to get as many wishes as he wants even though he is the actual stone…but this process kills him? Once again whatever is going on is not explained so we just kinda have to go along with it. 

2) Body Swap

Diana wishes the love of her life Steve Trevor(Chris Pine) back to life and he is reincarnated in…another man’s body?? What the hell.

Then she immediately proceeds to have sex with Steve…in another’s man’s body. This dreamstone has the power to make every nuclear missile launch all across the world and make giant walls materialize but can’t manage to revive the body of one dead person? Seems improbable.

Furthermore, Diana seems to have no ethical objections to Steve essentially possessing a person’s body against their will. This gaping plot hole needs to be explained.

3) Wonder Woman is the Beyoncé of Amazonians

Repeat this with me. Wonder Woman is an Amazonian super warrior and she kicks ass. This is a fact, a fact that the director (Patty Jenkins) fundamentally does not understand.

Wonder Woman has a mythos, she is first and foremost a warrior. She’s the only person in the Justice League that could battle Superman and possibly win, and the last thing that would be holding her back from protecting the world is…love for a man.

The Amazonians created a male-free society and literally view men as inferior beings. However DC has created a Wonder Woman totally in the shadow of every man she encounters and still heartbroken over a man that has been dead for 66 years.

The clichés and plot holes in this film almost border on internalized sexism. Get help Patty.

4) Leading from Behind

Along those lines, where is Diana’s agency? Everything that occurs in this film is happening to her, and she isn’t exhibiting any strength or leadership. she’s just trailing behind, slowing down the inevitable events of the film… at moments. She fails as a superhero practically this entire film. Superheroes, especially those trained in strategy by Athena herself, change the world, and aren’t just the punching bags for catastrophic events.

5) To Fly or Not to Fly

As stated earlier, Wonder Woman is an Amazonian super warrior badass and HAS THE ABILITY TO FLY. For some reason these films have been so inconsistent about this fact. She hovers a bit in the 1918’s during WWI but I guess she forgets that ability by 1984. In this movie, she learns how to fly again, but  I guess she forgot in thirty five years because she doesn’t fly in Batman V Superman or Justice League. As a huge fan of the Wonder Woman animated shows and films, I’m deeply disappointed by the incapability to fully show her powers. It’s insulting to think us viewers don’t have the ability to see these gaping plot issues with the timeline.

6) Hidden Invisibility powers.

Our protagonists break into the Smithsonian and steal a fighter jet. Hardly believable but in order to escape the scary Smithsonian authorities radar Wonder Woman suddenly is a magician and knows how to turn entire planes invisible. How the fuck did she learn that and that surely would have helped in the monster battle in BVS.

7) Fuel Lasted a lot Longer in the 80’s

WWI pilot Scuba Steve naturally figures out how to fly a jet and that jet somehow has enough fuel to take them from Washington D.C to fucking Cairo, Egypt. Ridiculous.

8) Suspension of Common Sense

Driving through fireworks in a fighter jet? Seems unnecessarily dangerous and risky and something that a trained military pilot just wouldn’t do.

9) Max Lord has me Max Bored

Max Lord’s motivations are what exactly? More stuff? Because his motivations for power are never truly explained it is hard to feel invested in the conflict between him and Diana. The movie was full of things just happening but not entirely being explained.

10) This item is important…until it isn’t

Golden Eagle armor is a legendary super armor that supposedly saved the Amazonians from destruction but Cheetah rips that shit up in under 30 seconds.

The entire Wonder Woman v Cheetah fight seemed more like a Cirque du Soleil act rather than a boss fight. Here’s a clip of a real wonder woman fight.

11) Death by Whispers and Plot Holes

Wonder Woman is a badass. She wins fights by beating the shit out of her enemies. However in this film, Diana delivers T.K.O via whispered monologue.

It was cheesy and outrageously cliché and just makes me think that Jenkins fundamentally does not understand why people watch superhero films.

Other looming plot holes

 12) How strong was the wind emanating from Max Lord? Stronger than Steppenwolfe? That wind was the real villain and I need answers.

13) Why is this movie set in 1984? With the exception of one scene, nothing about the script places this movie in the 80’s. The score didn’t even include any 80’s tracks. Also trains were around during Steve’s lifetime so subways shouldn’t be that mind-blowing.

14) Max Lord’s son Alistair. He goes from being adored, to being neglected and abandoned, to being adored again. Diana defeats Max Lord by truth lasso reminding him that his son is in danger, the same son that Max Lord has been neglecting the entire film. Also, he somehow gets two wishes.

15) All of this happens during Bruce Wayne’s lifetime and he didn’t get a whiff of it by 2017? I doubt it. Batman knows all things.

I don’t know why DC can’t just get it right. WW84 was far too long (how long), the pacing was off, the action was subpar and the CGI was outdated and obvious. There is a specific scene in which Diana rescues children that refuse to stop playing in the street although there is a giant envoy zooming towards them. Steve shoots a RPG that she lassoes on to, swooping in and saving these kids and it was so obvious that live actors had been swapped out for stuffed mannequins that I literally laughed out loud. Patty Jenkins really needs to think about her approach to superhero films because this wasn’t it. Don’t waste your time viewing this film. Go watch the cartoons.